A Mothers Ramblings

We are blessed with two beautiful girls. Our oldest is 5 and our youngest is 4 months. They are both amazing, unique and vibrant.

As of late I find myself doing a lot of self reflection. When I was pregnant with our first I naively thought that having a baby would be easy. That not much would change. We would have this perfect little baby and life would be fabulous.

Well, we did have a beautiful little baby but it was HARD. Really hard. She never slept. She was up 12 times a night. She had reflux badly. She had inner ear issues. She was sick. A lot. The doctors kept saying it was the flu....for 8 months? Really? Breast feeding was the most horrible thing I had ever tried to do. Painfull....and it never got better. I slowly became a mess. A sleep deprived mom that struggled every single day to just keep her head above water. I was drowning in postpartum depression and I never realized it.

Becoming a Mom was a life changing experience. It humbled me in ways that I never imagined. Tested me in ways I didn't know I could be tested and taught me a love that is greater then any that I have ever known.  I am greatful to be so blessed. My little family went through the wringer and came out stronger then ever. Just like the pheniox rises out of the fire. Life got good.

We decided after 4 years to expand our family once again. While my first pregnancy was blissful and easy my second was the complete opposite. You can read some of it here. The pregnancy taught me even more about life and struggle. Enlightened me on what really matters in life. Showed me who was really there for us and who was not. It changed me. In a lot of ways, and I am grateful for the changes. I am a better Mom and a better Wife.

Being a Mom to two has been amazing. I have found my groove. I find it easier, much easier, to balance two tiny humans. The girls are happy and guess what? They sleep. Sleep. It's the game changer. I am fully convinced that you can take on anything if you can sleep. There are still bad days, but much less of them. There is no postpartum depression this time around. My husband and I are a real team, this time around. I learned a lot from the first go round. The girls love each other deeply. Sibling rivalry has not started yet. Life is good.