I have had two csections. My most recent one was just 4.5 months ago. Yes, my midsection is a bit of a mess, yes I have the "shelf". If you have had a section you will know exactly what I am talking about. You know, that wack of stomach fat that hangs so "nicely" over top of the incision line. Effectionatly called The. Shelf. But, here's the thing. It represents something amazing.
For me, it represents two beautiful, healthy girls that we are beyond blessed to have. It represents the amazing wonders of modern medicine. I am grateful for hospitals, doctors, nurses and everyone that makes the magic happen. Without them I can't even imagine how things would have turned out.
Let's be clear. I NEVER wanted a csection and when I was pregnant with my first I never even allowed myself to believe that it would be an option. I didn't have a birthing plan but I felt confident that there would be no csection.
However, 23 hours of back labour later and we had a stuck baby. One that was not coming out no matter what we tried. So there it was. I had an emergency csection and in the end, a healthy baby.
I DID NOT feel like a failure. Nor did I ever feel disappointed that things didn't go according to some preconceived plan. My plan was simply to have a healthy baby and remain healthy myself. I did that.
Recovery was hard. I'm not going to lie. When you enter a massive surgey already exhausted there is no way that you are going to have a walk in the park recovery. But I did recover. I felt like it took forever. The truth is, it took me two years to figure out how to look after myself and be a Mom at the same time. Most days I felt like I was sinking and the thought of proper exercise and proper nutrition for myself was just too much. But, two years later I finally figured it out. At home exercise programs (that I swear by) and my trusty breakfast shake every day and the rest just fell into place. Finally. The "shelf" even got to the point that it had almost disappeared. That scar remainded and always reminded me that I matter as much as my daughter does. I learned to look after myself because I want her to grow up and make herself a priority.
Five years later, with my second pregnancy things were progressing fairly smoothly until we found out that this time we had a frank breech baby and labour was not an option. Nor was flipping the baby due to complications that had occurred in the pregnancy. So there we were, on route for another csection. Oddly, I was at peace as soon as I heard about the position of the baby and had the section booked.
Again, end result was a healthy baby and a healthy mom. Recovery the second time was so much better. I had much more realistic expectations on myself. I had the knowledge of how to slowly add my fitness back in. I understood how to rebuild my core. I am not there yet. That darn shelf is not only still there, but it's well defined. Hahaha. For now, but not for long. My at home program is ramping back up and come the New Year I will be making some progress.
Moms, please look at your scar and see your beautiful children. Be happy you had options for their healthy and safe arrival.
Know that scars have stories and can be beautiful. You are beautiful.
The "shelf" does get smaller. I don't care who tells you otherwise, it's simply not true.
You can make time for yourself. You deserve to feel good and be happy. You are not a failure. You are here and so is your baby.
Be proud, you had a beautiful baby. You have a scar with a story and the power to learn to love it.
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